hello everyone I hope you were all doing just great now the reason I made this video is because I was reading your comments and a lot of people tell me that you know they're being really good to people they're helping everyone they're being really nice however people don't appreciate you people don't respect you and you always end up being.
Taken advantage of even though you are so good to people even though you are so nice now let me tell you there is nothing wrong with being nice however I have learned two things there are two categories of people the first category of people are those who are nice but because of being nice they are respected and appreciated the second category of people well they are nice but they tend.
To be used and used and abused are you one of those people or are you those people who belong to the first category well for many years I was not so appreciated I was not so valued my problem was that I was being too nice do you have a similar problem well if you do I'm gonna teach you how to get your life back to show you what being nice really means so stay tuned for yet.
Another very interesting lesson to know if you really are a nice person or maybe you are making the mistake of being too nice so I have made a checklist of certain things that you need to be aware of to make sure that you are not a very nice person but you belong to the first category of people those people who are respected and.
Remember one say if you don't respect yourself no one will ever respect you now you're probably thinking why would someone not respect themselves we all love ourselves right what if I say some of you are not even aware of your behavior you are not aware of your behavior that shows that you don't respect yourself for example let's say tomorrow you have to attend an interview.
And because you have to attend the interview you need to get some shopping done you have to wear new clothes after all rain but this friend of yours calls you and tells you that why don't you come home and hang out with me now because you're too nice you cannot end up saying no to your friend even though you have something important to do for yourself let me tell you you have the.
Right to say no without feeling bad or guilty you have to take care of yourself first if you don't take care of yourself how can you take care of other people if you don't set boundaries for yourself you are someone who does not respect your own self so you need to set boundaries that will make people respect you so always respect yourself in order to get respect from everyone else.
Now my belief that if you want to change you've got to change yourself right here first yes now people who are too nice have a wrong mindset they have wrong thinking they are the victims of what I call as negative thinking so here's some negative thinking that you might indulge in if you are someone who wants to be too nice.
Okay talk number one that you might end up thinking is I'm being selfish if I'm not helping people every time wrong thought thought number two you may think to yourself I feel guilty that I didn't do enough top number three they won't like me if I say no thought number four you may think something bad may happen to me if I don't help people well if you happen to have these wrong thoughts stop.
Remember you're not chocolate you can make everyone happy all the time so when you have these negative thoughts that I just talked about what are you gonna do yes you are going to talk right back to these thoughts tell yourself I need to take care of myself first because only then I can help other people can tell yourself that I need to say no if I am uncomfortable change your mindset do not.
Have negative thoughts take over do you notice that sometimes people just expect you to do things for them after all you've been doing so much for so many people for such a long time that they feel that they can just call you and tell you to take their car for a wash run a certain errand for them meet them at someplace out of the blue I mean don't you have a life I mean have these.
People even considered that you have your own plans for the day your own agenda well if you have people like that in your life I think you need to know that you are being taken for granted if you practice self-respect like we just talked about people's behavior toward you will change they will really be careful they will become very mindful of asking favors because.
They know that a self-respecting person can never ever be taken for granted so watch out for people's behavior make sure no one can take you for a ride now I know that learning to say no that's easier said than done honestly I still have a problem with saying affirm no now saying no makes you take control of your life to say a simple no there are three.
Things you must remember number one be honest about what you are saying no to so if you if you cannot come to a party be honest about why you cannot do it just be honest about it don't worry number two don't over explain when you when you feel guilty or awkward you tend to over explain you tell people how you try to do your best how you do something better next time.
Blah blah blah you don't have to do that a simple explanation is enough don't overdo it do not over explain okay now the third aspect of saying no is saying it kindly and in the friendly way because we want to be nice but we don't want to be too nice okay so so be kind and be friendly when you say a firm now please do not burden yourself with.
The feelings of others of course some one or some people may feel bad or a little put off when you've said a no to them but if you have practiced saying no using the three tips I just talked to you about you've done the right thing you need to be proud of yourself for doing the right thing so don't link anyone else's feelings with your feelings if you turn down a.
Friend who wants you to help them at two o'clock in the night in the middle of the night well you don't have to do that if you are down with fever because you can tell them that you're unwell don't feel bad if they feel bad okay don't feel bad if they are hurt that you cannot bail them out in the middle of a problem if they feel bad well let them feel bad it's not your problem.
There are people who help you and courage and there are some people who just drain you out of everything your time your your money your energy your efforts even your emotions as we discussed if you learn to respect yourself and watch your negative thoughts and if you make sure that you do take responsibility for your own feelings and not other people's feelings.
You will start to lose relationships and some friendships but I'll tell you what let them go let them leave you don't need such people in your life anyway therefore if you are going to stop being too nice well the sad thing is that you will have to cut unnecessary relationships and that let me tell you is the best thing that could ever ever happen to you ever well thank you for.
Watching I'd really like to hear back from all of you so please tell me what you have learned and how these tips these really important tips how have they helped you become a better person because I am confident it will I will be back with some more lessons but before I go please don't forget to like the video subscribe to our Channel and do not forget to press or click on the bottle.
Icon to get regular updates of videos just as interesting as this one I'll see you with some more lessons until then this is me saying take care and have a great day